How I Embraced The Signs Of Ageing

Hello, Thank you for coming back!

First,I would like to say Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful, hardworking Moms!

If you are like me and you belong to the middle adulthood group, there is that huge possibility that you will appreciate what I'm going to talk about and that is Ageing.

What is ageing? According to Wikipedia, it is the process of getting older. In humans, ageing represents the accumulation of changes in human beings over time, encompassing physical, psychological and social changes.The causes of ageing are uncertain.

But today I will only speak about the signs of ageing that are most visible to our eyes-the wrinkles and age spots. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, many things cause our skin to age-some things we cannot do anything about and others we can influence.The natural ageing process is one thing we cannot change.We will all get visible lines with time, as we get older.Our skin will lose its youthful fullness,get drier and thinner.This is what we call Intrinsic ageing.The other thing that may influence the cause of ageing are the environment and lifestyle choices we make-this is called Extrinsic ageing.Taking preventative measures may slow the effects of this type of ageing on our skin.

Sad fact: Around 30-35 years old, the skin starts to become drier and wrinkles start to appear by the end of early adulthood. As we reach the age of 40,the aging process become more apparent. The skin continues to dry out and is more prone to more wrinkling particularly on the sensitive face areas.

It sucks,I know!

I can vividly remember the first time I noticed those pesky wrinkles peeking through the delicate skin around the outer corners of my eyes. I was 39 years old then.Lain kayo akong pamati nga tigulang na gyud ko! I tell you, it was painful (not physically) mentally and emotionally to have stared at them and grasped the fact that I was indeed getting older!

It's not just the wrinkles that were tormenting me, but there were  other things like getting frail, and weak, sickly and eventually dying! I know, I am slightly morbid! Gosh! do you  also think like that? Maybe not!

It's been a few years now since I found those first wrinkles, and sadly there had been a few additions plus the age spots. But It's OK, I am actually over the fact that I am ageing. I have accepted it. It is not tormenting my mind and my emotions anymore. Honest! That is why I  can easily talk about it now because I am not ashamed nor upset about it anymore.When my kids joke about  my skin,I just laugh it out!

How did I deal with it?

It wasn't really that bad after I had accepted that ageing is a part of life which I could not do much about. I have just accepted that I am older and with that comes the effects of the ageing process.

Accepting that my skin is not perfect, having wrinkles and age spots-doesn't mean that I will just leave it and not do anything about it. In fact, I wished I started looking after my skin in my early years.I am now aware that you can't reverse the signs of aging once it has  already started to occur-we can only prevent and minimise further damage.This is something very important  I have imparted to my daughter.

It wasn't so long ago in my continuous search for skin care products which are designed for ageing that I came across this brand-The Ordinary."This brand is an evolving collection of treatments offering effective clinical technologies in skin care.Apparently they are meant to provide clinical formulations with integrity".
I was so excited when I saw  their shop in the Distillery District in Toronto when I went there last October 2017.It must have been their flagship store though  I might be wrong.Here, I will share some of my most recent favourite skin care products.

I had been using this brand for a year now, and I love their products so far. I saw a difference to my skin texture since I used them.I have my favourites which I had repurchased a few times already. If you are good and have already started looking after your skin,then you know that skin care products are quite expensive. But the products from The Ordinary brand are very inexpensive- that is the initial reason  that urged me to try them out. And I am glad I did.

Remember,there are only things we can influence in the process of ageing.The skin care products are there to prevent further damage or minimise the appearance of premature ageing.But here are steps I gathered, which somehow worked for me in my own experience, that helps.

1) Get lots of sleep and rest
2)Keep hydrated
3)Eat a healthy balanced diet
4)Regular exercise, keep yourself  active
5)Always wear sunscreen even when it's cloudy
6)Moisturise your face well, wash your face properly before bedtime
7)Stick to your skincare routine
8)Stop Smoking, minimise Alcohol intake
9)Reduce stress

Some people may find it shallow to talk about ageing.I know it's not a 3rd world problem-there are other problems out there that need solutions.I totally agee! But those problems are much bigger problems that need bigger better solutions. Sometimes you just need to focus on yourself,find solutions to your own issues  and then when you are ready,you can spread and try  reaching out to help others.

Thank you! To my fellow middle aged group, let's embrace ageing and Age gracefully!

Loving Yourself

Hi! Welcome back to my blog. Can I just give a quick shout out to the Weather here in England last weekend. It was awesome! I'm hoping  that Spring is finally here to stay.

Anyway, I planned to publish a blog post last week but I had technical problems which meant that I totally lost my post. It's a bummer! I was writing about Self Love and how one should not feel guilty showing yourself some love.

So, what is Self love? It  means many different things to every individual person. Ask yourself what does it mean to you personally? For me, it is loving myself, prioritising myself/Self Preservation. For me it means respecting my body, my state of mind, my health, and my sense of spirituality(my soul). It is looking after my entire Whole Self. Here, I’m going to share my journey of how I started giving myself a little more love (than I used to do).

But first of all, let me tell you a little story about myself and why I chose to say something about loving yourself. I was born the only daughter and the youngest in the family with three brothers. I would claim that I was the apple of the eyes of both  my father and my eldest brother. But I was never a spoiled brat! It was nice to be the center of their affections but that came with a price and a responsibility (that's what I felt).I was constantly trying to be the best version of myself so that I would make them happy and be proud of me  all the time. I think those experiences in my (formative) early years were the ones  that  moulded me into the person I was.It was always making the others the priority- It was always about them and not myself.

When I got married and had kids, I gave up so many things that were dear to me-it was my choice and part of taking on the  responsibility as a mother and wife.It was tough having to rear a young growing family and to work at the same time. My husband and I were very young and it was even more difficult because we were away from our families. We were on our own trying to settle down while working and living here (as immigrants) and starting a young family at the same time. Unlike in the Philippines, here in the UK it's not that easy to hire somebody to help you with childcare and household chores.

In those years that my children  needed me the most, I reduced my working hours at work so I could devote more time to them and worked night shifts to make it easier for my husband and I to sort our shifts (at work). Of course, we had to work opposite shifts all the time (so one of us stayed with the kids) when the other was working. I rarely went out to see my friends, if I ever did, and I lost some of them  because they could not understand my situation.(I became so anti-social) I also set side any career plans I had in  mind at that time-caring for  my family became my one and only topnotch priority.It was a very fulfilling, heart warming path but it was(and still is) also a very challenging  endeavour (if I'm honest). And many times in those years I had ignored myself.

It was a few years ago when my eldest brother died that I saw a different direction in my life. It was an eye opener-that made me realise life is too short, and the promise of tomorrow or the future is uncertain. He didn't  fully enjoy life and his future as he was taken so early-that was the catalyst  which pushed me to refocus on myself. Luck was also on my side that when I realised this, my kids were getting to a place where they didn't constantly need my attention as much.So I was in the best place to start with.   

Making a stand/voicing out my own opinion was something hard for me to say or do.But I had been teaching myself  to be assertive in voicing my opinion- my plans and the things that I wanted to do in  life. Now that I am older (and wiser) I've realised how to value myself as equally as I valued other people. I am now OK to say NO to other people,situations, favour's asked if I know it will not be good to my health, my peace of mind, and my happiness. I am not afraid anymore  to lose people who are threatening my general well-being. I find it easier to remove them from my life (and in my social media).There's a quote that says 'You can't expect positive changes in your life if you are surrounded with negative people'.I truly agree.

Taking care of your body is as important as looking after your mind and soul. Embarking on my fitness routine to a fitter lifestyle is one of the best changes I've made  to empower myself. I loved to eat as much as I loved to sleep. So I still eat the foods that I love the most, only in moderation. And I slept a lot especially on my days off. All of these small changes I did for myself made me feel better, healthier and happier. After all, looking after my body and my general health is the best gift I can give my children-which means I have a better chance of staying alive longer to spend more time with them. Certainly No guilty feelings on that! Don't wait too long to start on that fitness you are trying to kick start, you owe your body the love it deserves!

Travel. I wanted to do that for a very long time but I had to ignore/set aside those desires as it was impossible to travel with small children.The stress is too much to handle. So I have waited and I'm glad I had started travelling now. It's one of the best things that nurtures my mind and soul. Never mind the money. Money is important but not as important as your wellness. I definitely don't think I would be having as much fun travelling  as a senior.

Indulge in your hobby/ies. Whatever takes your fancy. You can read a book in the quietest area of your home when the kids are in school, take a long warm bath when everybody is already asleep or out of the house. But for me, It's always playing with my makeup or catching up with a favourite on Netflix, Amazon prime or You Tube and going for a serene long walk by the Riverside or the woods. Some people read work related books, Oh dear I am too old for that! That is not my cup of tea but then again-the aim is for you to relax! Try a magazine.

The changes that you will make may surprise the people around you especially the ones closest to you. Don't worry If they love you they will 100% support you just as you have supported them through the years.

I know, I've been there, that it's very easy to get consumed by our busy lifestyle or the habits/behaviours we are accustomed to. Just try adding the things that you like/love to do in your busy day to make your routine a little more enjoyable. Be assertive in giving yourself the love you deserve. There is no shame or guilt attach. Nobody will love you better than yourself. Do it for you- for a better health,better mindset, and a better you! You deserve it, I deserved it!

Some Ways To De Stress When You Are Burnout At Work

Ok, let me start by introducing myself. My name is Antonette Parantar Dorado. My closest friends, family  and work colleagues call me different names but mostly Anne, Antoi ,Toni or Patricia.
lols! I know! This is my first time to write a blog and I am nervous but is also excited. English is not my first language and I'm aware ,my grammar is not always on point .Please be considerate. I am just here to write and express my feelings ,points of view or personal experience on certain things in my life that some of you might be experiencing  or may have encountered in their lifetime too.

I am in my early 40's and I am currently working in the health care system and have been for 17 years. I will not give so much detail into what I actually do but I must say my job is very stressful. When I was younger it didn't bother me that much.But the last few years I have been really feeling the strain. I am not happy to go to work I feel like I have to drag myself going to work .The thought of working is killing me.I feel no fun, happiness,drive nor passion.It has solely become my bread and butter to make ends meet.

My mind keeps asking does it have to be this way? When will it change or does my feelings for work will get any better? What can I do? What can I change? Or is my job not fit for me anymore? I want to be happy again, have the drive and excitement going to work and just be happy at work. I think when you are happy you become more passionate and be more productive because you loved what you are doing.And I want to be that person again.I decided I have to get into something to help me de stress.

Almost 3 years ago, I started getting Fit by going to the gym. It was a slow start, and getting consistent to it is the hardest part. But I enjoyed it especially when I started losing weight and seeing the results of my hard work.I also feel the difference in my stamina.My body just got stronger even my mind is stronger.My moods were getting lighter and happier.

I fell in love with Makeup.I started playing with makeup and watched Youtube videos. It's something very new but very exciting and fun for me.I am very simple-a face powder and a lippy is always good enough for me.The whole experience of learning about makeup and buying them made me very happy.My stash has grown quite extensively in a short period.
And it is helping me.I have found it very comforting  knowing that I can use and have fun with my make up while getting ready for work. It takes away the feeling of dragging myself. It somehow makes it a little bit easier.

Travel. I realised the importance of making time to travel. I really enjoyed travelling to new places I have never been together with my family, friends or my cousin/s here or abroad.I made sure to have fun and enjoyed my time away from work. I needed it. It's important to know your priorities when you travel .I didn't have so much money when I Travelled, but my priority is to see as many places as I can rather than buying or shopping.Document your memories. I don't know about you guys but I am very big into taking and editing pictures.I loved photography.I am not a professional but I just loved doing them for fun. Take pictures as much as you can, you can look at them at some point  especially when you are not having a good day at work. Trust me it works.

Socialise.Go out with Friends.When you can't travel yet, in the meantime have lunch/dinner /tea with your closest friends on your days off. Not necessarily work friends.Only your closest most trusted friends. Enjoy your time catching up with them over delicious foods,drinks and a hearty chat.Good friends are gifts from the heavens, they light up your spirit!

Prayers. Praying has always been my Rock.It amazes me how prayers move mountains.It gives me strength I had no idea I had in me.Since I was in high school I've known about  this prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Until now, that is my most favourite prayer. It comforts me in the most soothing way possible.I can't go to work without  saying that prayer.

I know there may be lots of other ways to dealing with your stress and unhappiness at work.Please know that you are all welcome to share with me your tips.Thank you for your time reading,
I hope you enjoyed it  and have a wonderful day.