Hi! Welcome back to my blog. Can I just give a quick shout out to the Weather here in England last weekend. It was awesome! I'm hoping that Spring is finally here to stay.
Anyway, I planned to publish a blog post last week but I had technical problems which meant that I totally lost my post. It's a bummer! I was writing about Self Love and how one should not feel guilty showing yourself some love.
So, what is Self love? It means many different things to every individual person. Ask yourself what does it mean to you personally? For me, it is loving myself, prioritising myself/Self Preservation. For me it means respecting my body, my state of mind, my health, and my sense of spirituality(my soul). It is looking after my entire Whole Self. Here, I’m going to share my journey of how I started giving myself a little more love (than I used to do).
But first of all, let me tell you a little story about myself and why I chose to say something about loving yourself. I was born the only daughter and the youngest in the family with three brothers. I would claim that I was the apple of the eyes of both my father and my eldest brother. But I was never a spoiled brat! It was nice to be the center of their affections but that came with a price and a responsibility (that's what I felt).I was constantly trying to be the best version of myself so that I would make them happy and be proud of me all the time. I think those experiences in my (formative) early years were the ones that moulded me into the person I was.It was always making the others the priority- It was always about them and not myself.
When I got married and had kids, I gave up so many things that were dear to me-it was my choice and part of taking on the responsibility as a mother and wife.It was tough having to rear a young growing family and to work at the same time. My husband and I were very young and it was even more difficult because we were away from our families. We were on our own trying to settle down while working and living here (as immigrants) and starting a young family at the same time. Unlike in the Philippines, here in the UK it's not that easy to hire somebody to help you with childcare and household chores.
In those years that my children needed me the most, I reduced my working hours at work so I could devote more time to them and worked night shifts to make it easier for my husband and I to sort our shifts (at work). Of course, we had to work opposite shifts all the time (so one of us stayed with the kids) when the other was working. I rarely went out to see my friends, if I ever did, and I lost some of them because they could not understand my situation.(I became so anti-social) I also set side any career plans I had in mind at that time-caring for my family became my one and only topnotch priority.It was a very fulfilling, heart warming path but it was(and still is) also a very challenging endeavour (if I'm honest). And many times in those years I had ignored myself.
It was a few years ago when my eldest brother died that I saw a different direction in my life. It was an eye opener-that made me realise life is too short, and the promise of tomorrow or the future is uncertain. He didn't fully enjoy life and his future as he was taken so early-that was the catalyst which pushed me to refocus on myself. Luck was also on my side that when I realised this, my kids were getting to a place where they didn't constantly need my attention as much.So I was in the best place to start with.
Making a stand/voicing out my own opinion was something hard for me to say or do.But I had been teaching myself to be assertive in voicing my opinion- my plans and the things that I wanted to do in life. Now that I am older (and wiser) I've realised how to value myself as equally as I valued other people. I am now OK to say NO to other people,situations, favour's asked if I know it will not be good to my health, my peace of mind, and my happiness. I am not afraid anymore to lose people who are threatening my general well-being. I find it easier to remove them from my life (and in my social media).There's a quote that says 'You can't expect positive changes in your life if you are surrounded with negative people'.I truly agree.
Taking care of your body is as important as looking after your mind and soul. Embarking on my fitness routine to a fitter lifestyle is one of the best changes I've made to empower myself. I loved to eat as much as I loved to sleep. So I still eat the foods that I love the most, only in moderation. And I slept a lot especially on my days off. All of these small changes I did for myself made me feel better, healthier and happier. After all, looking after my body and my general health is the best gift I can give my children-which means I have a better chance of staying alive longer to spend more time with them. Certainly No guilty feelings on that! Don't wait too long to start on that fitness you are trying to kick start, you owe your body the love it deserves!
Travel. I wanted to do that for a very long time but I had to ignore/set aside those desires as it was impossible to travel with small children.The stress is too much to handle. So I have waited and I'm glad I had started travelling now. It's one of the best things that nurtures my mind and soul. Never mind the money. Money is important but not as important as your wellness. I definitely don't think I would be having as much fun travelling as a senior.
Indulge in your hobby/ies. Whatever takes your fancy. You can read a book in the quietest area of your home when the kids are in school, take a long warm bath when everybody is already asleep or out of the house. But for me, It's always playing with my makeup or catching up with a favourite on Netflix, Amazon prime or You Tube and going for a serene long walk by the Riverside or the woods. Some people read work related books, Oh dear I am too old for that! That is not my cup of tea but then again-the aim is for you to relax! Try a magazine.
I know, I've been there, that it's very easy to get consumed by our busy lifestyle or the habits/behaviours we are accustomed to. Just try adding the things that you like/love to do in your busy day to make your routine a little more enjoyable. Be assertive in giving yourself the love you deserve. There is no shame or guilt attach. Nobody will love you better than yourself. Do it for you- for a better health,better mindset, and a better you! You deserve it, I deserved it!
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